Los Brettus Lydadius

2007-12-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

Nearly two months have passed since we wrapped our 1 Second Film/Evangenitals 2007 Summer U.S. Tour and only now am I ready to iron out some of the mixed feelings I have by publishing some of my experiences and observations whilst on the road. What a journey! One that I will never, ever forget. If the following tales sound bitter or resentful, then they probably are. But there was a lot of beauty and good will that also took place on that endless road. And I realize that my reality is my own. At the end of the day, I like to subscribe to the old saying: It's not happening TO YOU, it's just happening. Read on players and drama freaks.

Hollywood, California. Our first day on the road the electrical catches fire and the bus needs to be towed. Already there are some leadership issues arising but I'm gonna lay low and try to be a team player. Still, the breakdown footage is pretty sweet and we're all pretty excited. Plus, Darth Vader is an electrician.

Las Vegas & Hoover Dam. Driving thru Vegas in the daytime isn't the same. Still trying to adjust to our various personalities. The dishes are a tense subject. Sarah wants to take turns cooking and cleaning dishes. My gut tell me this will be a problem later on. I prefer the "one cup & spoon per person" policy. Also painfully aware that if I'm not a part of the solution, I'm part of the problem. Oh boy.

Grand Canyon, Arizona. Breathtaking. Our first big natural landmark location. The 1 Second Crew managed to capture some killer footage...

...but I had to work hard to appreciate it because my sweltering, itchy black Dickies jumpsuit was slowly driving me apeshit.

Albuquerque, New Mexico. We arrived in this charming southwestern town at about 5AM. Nirvan's mother and sister made our visit so comfortable. The food was amazing but what I shall never forget is the image of George and I having our feet soaked in a saltwater detox solution. Poor George's clear foot bath had become a horrific green foamy goop! I guess he was especially toxic that day. Later on he complained of an awful headache which he attributed to the detox. Haha! That night we did our first full audio/visual presentation at the local art gallery Stove. A raffle with some KILLER prizes was being held but the draw was slim so everyone who bought a ticket won BIG. One fella actually bought five tickets and won five times! Still it was a great vibe and it was a good experience finally getting to spread our wings and work out the bugs. My favorite moment was actually an impromptu bit where The Evangenitals jammed up this lounge/blues riff for the auction. Whenever a winner was announced, George and I would fly off into these raging solos to accentuate the high times. The crowd loved it. It was the kind of freestyle shit that I wished we had done more of throughout the tour.

Roswell, New Mexico. So far no aliens but it smells like major dung throughout and, strangely, there is zero vibe here at all, just a bunch of poor farmers. For what seemed like the umpteenth time, We leaped out of the bus with the jumpsuits for an alien photo op. Of course in retrospect it was seriously small potatoes, but at the time, ugh.

2007-12-27T12:03:00.000-08:00

Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico. This was the day my lovely girl Wanni called me with
the news that our super awesome cat Einstien had been struck by a car and died. Einstein was my very first pet ever and Wanni & I were, along with the entire block, madly in love with him. The Carlsbad Caves were magnificently beautiful. Truly a gift from the heavens. But my mind was on the memory of poor Einstien and getting back home to Wanni. The 1 Second team were just awesome and showered me with plenty of love. Once back on the surface, I found a little spot to be with myself, cried a little bit and then got on the bus headed for Austin.

Austin, Texas. There were plenty of reasons why Austin should have been a four star memory for me- It was a return to my old hometown back when I was a scrappy five year old, my Dad was coming to visit and see the band for the very first time, we were playing this charming eatery on a picturesque outdoor stage that stood under a beautiful tree. The weather was perfect that night. And it was friggin' AUSTIN. But it had been a rough couple of days. My beloved cat Einstien died, my girlfriend was stressing hard, the 1 Second Team was divided and lacking focus, my band was sucking eggs and I got into a loud match with Levi & Co. for arriving late again and parking the bus too far from the stage (making load in a real bitch). But, mixed feelings aside, it was still super fine to sit with my Dad for an hour over burgers & sodas which were DELICIOUS and comped by the friendly owners. I'm stoked that he finally got to see the band, even if we were only half-speed and I'm glad he got a copy of the new album which I'd worked so hard on. An he's now a producer of the 1 Second Film.

Houston, Texas. After the meltdown in Austin, everyone miraculously agreed to pull it together and give 110%. We were all assigned specific responsibilities and when we arrived at Lucky's Bar for it's grand opening, everyone jumped out of the bus and hustled like pros. Levi rocked the lighting, Lisa and Juli roadied the amps and tuned the guitars, George did the drums, I did the P.A., Sarah did the merch booth while Nirvan and Mike handled the video setup. In less than an hour, everything was ready to go. It was so beautifully executed, it was hard to believe it was the same motley crew from the day before. The show itself was a different bird altogether. The acoustics were awful. When the band rocked it's 2-song intro, out came a massive wall of room echo. Noone got it. Then Nirvan stepped up to do his presentation. Again the bad sound. Plus, folks just weren't down for an hour-long presentation- they just wanted to drink beer and party. For our encore Evangenitals set, I lowered our volume and leaned over to Juli and whispered "Everything about this show is going to shit. But my grandma's out there and I'm going totally balls out insane with or without you guys. Are you in?" And with that, we performed our best night of the tour! The sound was a little better. Juli was great. I was an enthusiastic foil. And our audience got nice and drunk. Believe it or not, Miss Texas even showed up and so we took some photos. But best of all was seeing my Grandma, cousin Mary and other relatives having a great time. Grandma even got up onstage and sang along with us and about 30 other new fans on a song called "Home". She had so much fun. Afterward, Nirvan's dad (who had set up the event) invited all of my family to eat in the VIP lounge. Everyone else remarked that Houston was our worst stop on the tour. But not me. I was so proud of the 1 Second Team for rising to the occasion, despite the shitty conditions. Also it gave me such great joy to see my family that, for me, the Houston gig gets the big thumbs up for its unexpected emotional rescue.

New Orleans. A heartbreakingly beautiful city where the music continues to leak from every crack of every wall in the French Quarter. God I love this town. I think this was everyone else's favorite stop. For me, it could have been momentous as it really is my one of my favorite places of all time. But, on this particular day, it was hot as fuck and Sarah was clamoring for black jumpsuits. I turned her down cold and I could tell she was pissed at me again. But I'd been at odds with the jumpsuits since Day 1 and now every cell in my brain and body was pleading for light clothing and with it, some mental health and peace of mind. Then I start catching serious heat from Juli about the suits and being a team player and yada yada yada. I fucking snapped inside. Those suits were like Chinese water torture to me and if I had to stay in one for too long I'd surely go nuts. I was terrified. Already I was this perceived rabble-rouser and now I was sure to make some big ugly stand before The Team and piss on their dream of black jumpsuits. The idea of yet another confrontation threw me into such a serious funk that it wasn't until we toured the Katrina ruins that I was able to settle down and get out of my head. That was a sobering visit and, thankfully, put everything back into proper perspective.

Florida. St. Petersburg is one of Juli's many hometowns. Juli's mom, Linda, got us a gig playing an assembly for "the good kids"- the one's with a "C" average or something. Naturally, they went ape-shit over the whole Andy Dick/Tom Green feud, especially when Andy started humping the couch. They loved Juli, too. I enjoyed this show alot. Perhaps because it was short. It was great having 50 or so kids get up and play "Home" with us.

Next up was the Tampa Skatepark. Still at odds with various forces within, but I loved winning over all those young punks onstage. It was a bit like "River's Edge" in that the area was a fucked up little wasteland town and the kids still had that defiant spirit you might expect from such a place.

But there was also an innocence and still some hope in every kid's face. They idolized Juli and it was so much fun playing the role of "old-skool-punk-guitar-guy-from-L.A."! Later that night we had tacos with some of the locals, including this huge 250lb black kid who everyone kept calling Oprah. That night, I bribed Sarah with $5 if she wore her red skate helmet onstage.

In Satellite Beach, we performed at another high school where Nirvan was once class president. We had arrived the night before and parked directly in front of the campus. It was particularly warm so I slept on the roof. The next morning, I snuck off and had an Egg McMuffin and an O.J. at McDonalds. That's right, McDonalds! Now, I hadn't darkened the door of any such establishment in probably 10 years, so you have a pretty good idea of how famished I was. Of course, I kept this little excursion top secret from the 'Move-On' mind police:) It seemed like everyone on board either ate vegan or simply didn't eat at all. This was not easy for dedicated omnivores like George or myself. More than a couple of times, we snuck out to find something a bit more hearty. But I wasn't a total eco-trainwreck. After all, I was the only cat on the bus who brought his own coffee mug. Almost everyone seemed content with disposables. So there you have the great hypocrisy. On my return from McD's, I witnessed a secret rocket launch from Cape Canaveral. Apparently, rockets are sent up all the time but nobody has a clue who, what, or where they're headed. Really bad for the environment.

We pit-stopped in Port Orange to shoot a quick music video for "Not Quite There" (featuring more young skaters) which was fun. Then off we went to our final Florida gig in Daytona Beach where we performed at a nursing home for thirty or so elderly veterans. Juli made a decision to play it safe and clean with our "family" setlist for most of the performance while the near-catatonic vets barely responded. Yet, close to the end, someone got a case of the "fuck-its" and suggested busting out "Gasoline" for these dirty old men. Who were they fooling anyway? How many drunken whores did they hump while off in Korea, anyhow?!?! And, right as those opening cowboy notes sprung from my guitar, sure enough something deep inside these once vital soldiers began to move and sway again. Tap, tap, tapping along to the dirty beat of an old hillbilly staple, smiling through the pain and dementia of injuries, old and new. Man, it was a sight.

And finally it seemed as though the 1 Second Film had found its heart. We were told, later on, that some of those old soldiers made genuine breakthroughs that odd early afternoon. That some who normally refuse to participate had miraculously chosen to do otherwise that day, and by doing so perhaps allowed themselves to maybe heal a little bit.

Savannah, Georgia. By far the sweatiest stop of the entire trip. But there was an intriguingly swampy "Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil" meets "Art Center" kind of vibe there. I liked it. And the change of scenery inspired me to try and see things with a new pair of glasses.

George and I somehow mustered up a shitload of "sales energy" that day and hawked credits in front of the bus and plugged our show that night at the Guitar Bar. We were team players extraordinaire. The Guitar Bar seemed like it was gonna be amazing. I even recall overhearing Juli remark that she absolutely LOVED IT afterwards. For George and I however, it was amateur night all over again.

When we showed up at the bar, my first impression was that it was a great spot for a show. Downstairs was for drinking and upstairs was for gigging. The owner was cooking up some chow and so, hungry as hell, I placed an order. I was slightly disappointed that there were no comps or even discounts for the band, but whatever. After supper, I had the daunting task of setting up the sound (P.A.) for the evening. For some reason, the lights were burned out upstairs and so I asked management for a light bulb. They seemed annoyed and replied, "OK!- just like we said earlier, we're busy, but we'll help you in five minutes!" Wha?!! Earlier?!?! Five minutes?!?! I had only asked once. But get this- they never did come back with that light bulb and so we struggled needlessly in bad light for nearly 2 hours trying to get the sound right. What was crystal clear, as the night wore on, was that these Guitar Bar cats were all style and no substance. We played the show, got a decent draw and a great response. Juli again brought down the house.

But as hard as I tried, I still couldn't get into it. This wasn't the Evangenitals. This was Evangina with an electric backing band. George and I felt pretty much useless having to hold back and respect the dynamics of an Evangina setlist. We could've been replaced by anyone and no one would have noticed. I was really missing Jason's killer bass and the broad catalog of songs that came with him. Moreover, Lisa was talking and playing guitar onstage more than ever, competing with Juli's bits. It seemed a bit selfish to me. We had talked about this in band meetings. It was agreed that, for the good of the band, she was going to reign it in a bit. But on this tour, just the opposite had occurred and it was now very clear to me that Lisa and I want different things. I had been pushing for growth. Learning our instruments. Singing in key. But Lisa prefers the simplicity of Evangina. There was no point in fighting her. For me, this revelation, which arrived at a most inconvenient time, was wholly disheartening.

At the end of the night, we carried our gear through the building and into the rain. Somehow during our set, the downstairs had transformed into the naughtiest of Britney-esque nightclubs with underage tarts and freckled frat boys grinding it out on the dancefloor. It was fairly surreal. The Guitar Bar must've made a ton of money that night. They paid the band $19.

2007-12-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

Things started to gel a bit after Savannah. We trekked through the Carolinas and Virginia and made a few stops that you can read about here: Juli's Blog!

This was my first time visiting the great D.C. What struck me was the long drive that divides the North from the South. In between, it just seemed like a huge stretch of giant forest. I began to understand, through the geography, the cultural & historical divisions that exist between the two since before even the Civil War.

One minute you're in the wooded boonies and the next its all concrete and white paint. There was the Capitol, The Lincoln Memorial, The Washington Memorial. Sadly, we didn't get to see the White House. The Powers That Be closed off all roads leading to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

But, one fabulous bonus was that we ran into the original Batmobile (from the 1966 TV show) which had been left unattended in a local public parking lot. It was the real deal for sure. All of the interior was pristine but clearly antique, including the muthafuggin' red Batphone!!!

Next up was the University of Baltimore. Now this is a town with some HISTORY. And some of the worst poverty I've ever seen firsthand. The kind of destitution that even the most diehard Rush Limbaugh fan would have a hard time dismissing. The sky was grey and things were beginning to cool down for jackets. We also visited an ancient graveyard that dated back to the city's origins. The show itself was charming, though seen by few. It was refreshing to have help from the university staff, even if its body seemed fairly disinterested in the arts and perhaps more interested in law. Did I mention this was a paid gig with accommodations?

Philadelphia, PA. While everyone else was eating broccoli and chicken, George and I snuck off and had a REAL Philly cheesesteak (minus the cheezewhiz). I could spend some serious time here. I really like the tempo of the people and it reminded me of San Francisco a little bit. Nirvan's friend Rebecca gave us a tour of the city which I really enjoyed.

Later that night, we performed at the renovated "Silk City Diner" which is a pretty hip place. The road had eased up on us a little bit and I was well rested and this made the poor scheduling of the Philly show somewhat more tolerable. We played. It was loud. The drunks had fun. End of story. The food however, was frigging AWESOME. Overall, good memories of Philly.

Brooklyn, NY. Wow. I'm so glad that Juli had such a great time at Vox Pop Cafe cuz, for me, by the end of that show, I was DONE. It was just more bad sound, more bad musicianship. Not what I had hoped to promote "Everlovin" with. Actually, I enjoyed everything about Brooklyn except for the show. I loved Vox Pop in the rain. It felt so nice and cozy snuggling up to a hot late and a book, I could've stayed another night.

Times Square, NY. This may have been the highlight for me. We got on the roof of that bus and drove straight through Times Square in heavy traffic as though we were on parade. Come to realize that's exactly what we were doing- having a little parade. Waving and hootin' n' hollerin' and acting like some kind of celebrity on Thanksgiving day!! That was such a gas!!! The crazy part is there were cops EVERYWHERE and not once did they order us to get back in the bus! Afterward, the Evangenitals broke with the 1 Second Crew and went to another cool eatery that was vegan friendly with a few old friends. Later, we crashed at Juli's brother's pad where we reunited with her mom. It was great to see her again and briefly meet her brother, Jayson.

2007-12-25T13:01:00.000-08:00

Connecticut. Here, we met up with drummer George, who had jumped ahead to spend more time with his Dad. Connecticut was George's home turf and, god bless him, he arranged quite a welcome for us. We arrived for our gig at a local Italian restaurant (friend's of George) where we met all of George's people.

He is immensely popular in Connecticut. The chow was free and so we played a sweet set for the locals before Nirvan launched into his pitch. Thanks to George, Connecticut was the 2nd most lucrative fundraiser on our tour!

Ohio. All of the big shows were now behind us except for the big Oprah Finale. So we stopped off in Ohio to visit the World's Largest Ball of Paint and to say hello to touring bassist Sarah's parents.

More SUPER-NICE mid-westerners who bathed us, fed us, and put us up overnight and let us watch TV all night long!!!! This was a funny scene. In one room, there was George and I, along with Sarah's Dad, Mom & brother all watching the World Series. In the adjacent room, everyone else were glued to another TV watching movies from the 80's. Weird. In my mind, it just seemed like good manners to chat it up and watch a little ball with our hosts. Were George and I just too old for this sort of thing? Because I'm starting to sound like somebody's parents.

Indiana. Now it was time to meet with Levi's family. They lived on a genuine FARM with Amish locals to the left and the right. When we showed up, they had pizza and a big bonfire waiting for us to torch.

That fire burned well into the night and kept us hella warm in that cold, cold, town. Old Brettster spent a good chunk of the night shooting the shit with none other than Levi's dad about politics and the state of the union. Levi's dad, like Sarah's, was not affiliated with any party in particular. One year they'd vote Republican and the next election they might go Democrat or Independent. I had never met a bonafide swing voter before (let alone two). I'm from Texas and Cali and where you vote their way or the highway. Anyway, it was great fun to relax a bit and talk with Levi's old man who still liked his Wild Turkey and Marlboros.

Finally Chicago. My first time in the windy city. I was so excited to be in Chicago because I knew this meant we were just a few more days away from a hug from my honey and long hot shower. As it turned out, Oprah had a big emergency in Africa with her school scandal and so she was nowhere to be seen. Of course, we had all prepared long ago for the possibility of an Oprah no-show.

But as we grew closer, I have to say I was pretty surprized at discovering that no one had any idea of Oprah's whereabouts until the day we arrived at Harpo Studios, when we bumped into an NBC news crew there trying to build a story about the school scandal. Still, a few Harpo employees stopped by and became producers and that was really cool. Finally, we celebrated the tail end of our journey by eating at another vegan restaurant. I forget the name of this place, but I can tell you they had the BEST fake malt/shake I've ever had in my entire life! Yum.

Back to L.A. The next 48 hours were a sleepless mad dash for home. We all wanted to get home pronto and the only way that was going to happen was if we worked the night driving shift and kept that trusty bus moving at all times. This created more tension for Lisa and I. She discovered early on that she had trouble sleeping while the bus was in motion. But most of us really wanted to get home YESTERDAY and so George and I carried on with our red-eye shifts.

God bless Nirvan and Levi and Mike for having a vision and sticking to it and including this raggedy old band for the kicks. It was a beautiful, most difficult journey that, in the end, I will fondly never forget. But I was hella glad to be home. Home. Home. Home.

2007-08-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

Alright. New Album. New Art. New Tour. Indie 103.1. Universal Summer Block Party. New Record Label? It's all happening in September. Get ready. The album totally rocks and can also sing you gently to sleep. George Bernardo, you are a great drummer and an even better friend. Thanks for making this album with me. Today we're picking up the first 100 copies which we'll sell (out) at Universal. It's a free show with plenty of eager visitors from out of state just DYING to find ways to spend their $$$$. It's also gonna be the biggest show yet for us. Word is it's gonna be thousands. And here's the really freaky part. Apparently they really like autographs(!).

2007-08-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends & Familia. We just flew back from The Island a few http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifdays
ago and want to share with you all the best moments via our Flickr
Photo Album .

http://flickr.com/photos/brettlyda/collections/72157601301546583/

But first, for the story to be told completely, we have to take you
all the way back to Monday April 2nd on Wanni's Birthday when I asked
my baby what she'd like to do on this special day and she hollered...
"Casino!". So as part of her gift, I bought her $40 in chips to play
at the "little kids" poker table. Well, imagine my surprise when four
hours later, Wanni had amassed a stack of no less than $1200 in chips!
And I wasn't doing so bad either. I had turned my $40 into $200 and
just when I thought it couldn't get any better, on my last hand I get
four aces and beat somebody's full house and win $700 in a jackpot! So
what do you do when you've got an extra $2000 lying about?

August 26th. Wanni and I flew into Kauai at 9PM and literally camped
on the side of the road just a few feet from the ocean. I'll admit
that was a rocky night riddled with zero sleep and endless bug bites
but, by morning Paradise was a knockin' loud and clear. We skirted
down the one and only highway to Kapa'a and discovered quickly that
this was our favorite town for eats. We totally fell in love with
Small Town Coffeehouse

(http://web.mac.com/smalltownkauai/iWeb/Small%20Town%20Coffee/Welcome.html).

It was here that we also accidentally bumped into local resident Vern
who happens to be the honest-to-goodness twin brother of our hometown
pal Mitch which, for me, was a wonderful, positive sign of things to
come but also pretty surreal nonetheless.

That day, we camped on the beach with the bum locals until morning
and waited for a tan rugged Australian named Burt to boat up about 50
feet from shore. We were instructed in advance to pack all of our
belongings in plastic trash bags and, upon his arrival, swim out with
our gear onto his rinky-dink little fisherman's boat so that he could
motor us onward to the breathtakingly remote Napali Coast where there
are no roads or coffeehouses and only the heartbreaking, glorious,
virtually untouched, tropical landscape of heaven on Earth exists.
Reaching destination, we had to swim another 50 feet to shore. This
was pretty scary stuff as the riptide is very rough in these parts.
It's so tough, in fact, that there are signs posted on the beaches
strongly recommending that visitors NOT swim in the ocean at all.
This probably explains why Burt's near extinct profession is
thoroughly illegal, though often overlooked.

We camped rough and rugged for three nights and hiked about 20 miles
during our stay on the Napali Coast. If you know me, you know I'm no
exercise guru, but when every single friggin' twist and turn of the
landscape is as exciting and breathtaking as this, you can't help but
put one foot in front of the other, childlike and eager for what comes
next and never once being disappointed. In the beach cliffs, we
discovered a massive hidden sand floor sea-cave the size of a
football field. An equally large emerald green swimming pool of sea
water extended from its mouth, tongue-like, out into the sunlight and
sand, almost bridging itself to the ocean. Wanni and I swam into the
cave and spotted a shadowy figure resting on a sand bank. As we
approached, we realized it was an obese naked woman in her 50's (did
I mention the Napali Coast is loaded with naked women and men?) The
old lady was nice, however, and soon left leaving Wanni and I to
enjoy this undeniable slice of heaven all to ourselves. We camped
HARD in this area for four days. Early Saturday morning, Burt arrived
and we stuffed our trash bags and swam out to the boat for our return
to civilization. Hats off to Wanni for flawless planning such a
wonderful trip to the Napali Coast.

Our friend Jeff Mann is working on the new Ben Stiller/Jack Black
movie "Tropic Thunder" in Kauai. He, his wife Stacey, and daughter
Emery invited us to stay for a week with them at their beautiful
rental house near Princeville. While Jeff was super busy making Ben
Stiller & JB look awesome, Stacey & Emery were amazing hosts who
showed us around the island and hooked us up with some great old and
new friends (Rachel, Joel, Noah, Sean). Emery is just about the
sweetest little girl I've ever met. Stacey took us to the set of
Tropic Thunder and made sure that we got some "elbow time" with
Stiller and Jack and some great pix of the big napalm explosion
scene. Wanni was especially stoked cuz she got to surprize Jack and
another friend, producer Stewart Cornfeld. Stuart is about as big as
they come in The Biz but you wouldn't know it as he also happens to
be an exceptionally nice guy. With the Manns, it was great company, a
nice bed, outdoor showers in the jungle & french toast and bacon every
other day! We will never forget their kindness and hospitality. Thank
you Jeff, Stacey & Emery.

Along the highway, we visited the ruins of the famous Coco Palms
Hotel Resort in which all 46 acres were destroyed by hurricane back
in the early 1990's. It was here that Elvis Presley filmed all of
those beach flicks like "Blue Hawaii" and it was also where they
filmed the popular TV show "Fantasy Island". It was fenced off just
like any abandoned property might be, with "No Trespassing" signs
everywhere but, strangely enough, the parking lot was unlocked and,
adjacent to the lot, was a truck-size opening in the fence. We
couldn't resist. As it turns out, we bumped into the groundskeeper,
Dwayne, who has been with the hotel since the early 60's. He was such
a nice man and Wanni is such a charmer that it wasn't long before he
offered to give us an unrestricted VIP tour. What a beautiful mess.
We even visited Elvis' humble cottage which had long since been raped
of its charm. I'll let the photos speak on my behalf.

And so it just kept on flowing endlessly - secret summer beaches,
rainbow canyons, air-conditioned hotels, more giant caves, snorkeling
with exotic fishes, giant turtles, cracking coconuts, fresh mangos and
guava from the trees, picturesque log cabins, gourmet vegan food,
awesome ahi tuna & khalua pork regional dishes, and LOTS of ice
cream.

Enjoy!

Brett & Wanni

p.s. is your picture on my website? www.brettlyda.com has tons of new
pics and lots of new media. check it out! And if I don't have your
picture, send me one and I'll get it up asap!

2007-05-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to old friend Josh Warren for this gem!

2007-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Balloon twister extraordinaire Addi Somkeh asked me to cut a couple of webisodes to promote his forthcoming tv plans.

2007-03-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

PENN & TELLER: ALIEN ABDUCTION SUPPORT GROUP

From the Showtime series Penn & Teller: Bullshit, members of an alien abduction support group share their experiences aboard the mothership.I funkin love Penn & Teller.

2007-03-03T10:44:00.001-08:00

THE FIVE GREATEST LISADEE
MOMENTS EVER RECORDED!

1. The bridge on "Let's Get Naked":

This section of the tune used to really suck until the band acquired George Bernardo and Geoff Brandin. Overnight it grew heavier and with it, Lisa's vox parts blossomed. In time, Lisa emerged as the "primary instrument" complimenting Juli's lead vox on "Naked". I don't know what the hell she changed but I love it. It reminds me of New Orleans. I almost hear trumpets. Suddenly the song was in a place I had never intended for it to go. An excellent contribution.

2. The freaky background vox on "Work Song":

This is where I first noticed Lisa coming out from behind Juli's coon cap and making some truly innovative decisions. The background vox are sooooo wack she had to have been Van Gogh-insane at the time of conception. Her voice is without words and plays almost like a series of bent violin strokes, barely noticable to the ears yet strangely high in the mix. In my mind, that's the sign of some really sweet playing- it fits so well and is so subtle you don't even know it's there. UNTIL. The screeching begins in the final verse. What was once invisible and repetitive is now so abrasive and cutting it's almost intolerable - the perfect non-verbal description for song's final verse.

3. The secondary lead vocal on "The Hole"

Wow. Not content settling for background duty on this cut, Lisa calls up some serious ghosts and ends up altering the landscape with an unthinkable nexus of beauty and schizophrenia. Or maybe it's just crazysexycool all over again.

4. The frisky hillbilly cussing at the tail of "Gasoline".

Nothing terribly unique to point out here, right? - just a couple of nasty hillybilly chicks cussing and hollerin'. But I think the genius of this song is that the girls sound so convincingly authentic, I laugh every time they deliver the punchline. Juli surely has some South in her but I'm pretty knocked out by citygirl Lisa's ability to change hats and deliver such a legit hick performance. It's not fake- a long time ago she apparently used to ride horses and shit.

5. Lisa's vox on the Evangenitals cover of OutKast's "Hey Ya":

On this super slow rendition of the famous Outkast song, the vocal performances are top drawer. But rather than follow the original melody line, Lisa, at the end of every chorus, chooses a lower relative note to Juli's standard E. In retrospect, it seems a logical choice- the notes are related and in the same chord family. But emotionally, it sounds fucking wack. It doesn't resolve into the note that our ears want it to and the result is both uncommon and haunting as hell.

2007-02-18T14:58:00.000-08:00

My big fat Hollywood commitments have forced me out of The Evangenitals next show at the Old Towne Pub. In some ways, I'm even more bummed because good friend Jason Chesney is gonna fill in for me on the guitar and I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall and witness how the band operates with a new starter and also see what the fuss is from the audiences' perspective. Maybe if I'm really lucky I can catch the last half of the show. I'll probably feel like Nigel in Spinal Tap as he's watching his old band from the sidelines. Can't wait to hear what songs make it, too!

2007-01-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

Check out this sweet new Evangenitals song from the forthcoming sophomore album (2007!)! Doesn't the set design make us look like some creepy David Lynch-style deleted scene from "Fight Club"?

2006-12-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

It is so weird to see this man be still. I miss him - way more than Ford.

2006-12-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

The real Santa.

2006-12-12T13:34:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of one David Howard Salardino.

2006-12-04T11:28:00.000-08:00

Do you like Punk'd? Well then you gotta see this movie! And when you do, be sure to check out the bonus "reveal" features. Here's the rotten tomatoes link for the storyline. Check it!

Rotten Tomatoes: Windy City Heat!

2006-11-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

BRETT LYDA AGREES TO MEET WITH DIO

History was made Thursday November 9th at the "Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny" movie premiere as Brett Lyda agreed to meet with the original pioneer of heavy metal, Black Sabbath's very own Ronnie James Dio! There was no shortage of star power on hand for the D's triumphant night at Mann's Chinese Theatre: Jack Black, Kyle Gass, Ben Stiller, Dave Grohl, Eve, John C. Reilly, Jeremy Priven, to name a few.

Why Dio didn't settle for a photo-op with any of these flavor-of-the-month phonies is but a riddle. Yet, at the finely catered afterparty in The Roosevelt Hotel, Dio approached Lyda's people and respectfully asked if the Holy Diver himself could please, please have but a moment of Brett's time for one little photograph. Of course, like any gracious celebrity, he agreed, and the rest is history.

2006-10-31T16:10:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody! Please check out my cool new website by clicking on my EYEBALLZ!!!!!

2006-09-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

My girl Wanni just brought home a new little kitty from the pound and we've named him Einstien cuz he's a real ladykiller and brighter than most. Just the cutest damn critter I've seen in a long time. I've never had a dog or a cat before so it was yet another bold stroke in my attempt to paint a lush new life for myself. Mind you, I've been eagerly pursuing my "life makeover portrait" for about 7 years now and I must say that, while the rest of the world may be going to smithereens in a sleeping bag, my little slice of paradise continues to improve with every gesture. BUT... The first night home, Einstien charmed the pants off us and I was able to feel a glimpse of the kind of love that I suppose only pet lovers truly know. The next morning I woke up to find a HUGE pile of steaming catshit positioned dead center on my new couch. I moaned and pouted to my girl but finally I just had to laugh. Life and love will always be free but for everything thing else we must pay dearly.

Example: One year ago I was blessed with an unbelievable new place to live. It has all the bells and whistles- great location, nice neighbors, wood floors, washer, dryer, parking etc. There's a coffee house right next door, an awesome video store on the corner (sorted by directors/actors!), trees everywhere, the Gold Line nearby, and every thursday there's a killer farmer's market. My little oasis in the painting, I suppose.

Ah, but there is one caveat. We have one neighbor, Penny (name changed) who has been plucked by God from the nearest television sitcom and lovingly placed in the retirement home next door. Funny thing is she is quite active and far from "retired". Every day she returns home from who knows where and parks her assed out white 90's Hyundai in the back alley adjacent to our house and honks her horn until someone - anyone - comes along to help her out of the car. We feel sorry for the old gal so, of course, Wanni or I will go out and help her along. But here's the rub: she is extremely unsanitary (think pee and fritos). And here's the double rub: she's rather abrasive and just doesn't seem at all that helpless. Can u feel me on this one? It's really fucking with my comfy "I'm-a-nice-guy-patron-saint" image of myself.

Ah, the divine and just balance of good fortune. The Old Man in the Sky blesses us with a lovely house and a bitchin cat but throws in an almost comical, unkept, unretired retiree and a b-side of steaming cat poop to keep all things humble and thoroughly in check.

2006-07-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

The Saturday Highland Grounds show was without a doubt the BEST performance yet by the Evangenitals. Hi-Octane Evanjuice from the get go! The first song, new single "Sun is Shining", was so unbelievably inspired that I can hardly believe the Gods allowed us to capture it on cd. It was a runaway train thereafter. I'm virtually speechless but I will say this:

COMPACT DISC! The entire show PRESERVED. Perhaps you'd like a copy of this stellar night? Were you there? Let us know and we'll fix you up a serving of this killer board mix.

Thank you Jason Chesney for being such a friggin PRO! You had one week to learn the songs and you fucking DELIVERED! Our hats are off to you, my friend! I want to personally thank Mike McCarthy of HG for putting his trust in the band and allowing us to put together the entire card of bands for the evening. He took a big risk and I'm pleased as punch that turnout was indeed so spectacular. This was due in no small part to Lucinda and the Lost Dogs who performed beautifully and did an amazing job of rallying their fanbase. Thanks Lucinda & Co! Also a big shout out to local legend Gwendolyn and her band for another spellbound performance and for bringing the peeps and lending genuine creedence to the entire affair.

And of course, a HUGE thanks to our fanbase of friends old & new and all the evanjunkies who came out: Albert, Nicole, Debbie, Leticia, Salad, Patrick, Woody, Eileen, Jacklyn, Marcel, Doug, Misha, Simon, Steve, Juan, Jain & Eliot, Alan, Kelly, Crystal, Ted, Laura, Mike, Melissa, Katrina, Rachel, Erin & Audra, and Gwendolyn (not THAT Gwendolyn) - to name a few.

And lastly, an ultra super massive thanks to my girl, our "manager" Wanni, for her tireless flyering and selfless commitment to the cause! Without you baby, we'd only be half as cool.

2006-04-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

Wow. The Genitals are really cooking right now. The new LP is really shaping up. New drummer George is absolutely unbelievable (he also plays the Vibraphone). and will make his big debut at Highland Grounds this Saturday April 29th 9PM. He's got this massive kick drum that's a site to behold and it's been giving me belly laughs throughout the day. Old drummer Salad is still on board and playing the mandolin and banjo (how cool is that!). I predict the Highland Grounds show will silence any naysayers and go down as our best performance yet.

P.S. We've got a brand new website and some FREE downloads of our new double A sided single "Sun Is Shining/Ode To Scientology".

http://www.evangenitals.com/music.html

Check it!

2006-03-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

Hello frizzles. I have a little moment this Saturday morning and thought I'd take the opportunity to reconnect with whoever's listening. Just a few days into spring and everything feels whole. Winter was nice but I'm rarely dressed for it and thus I'm glad the blue skies and warm afternoons are on the upswing.

Slowly, slowly my big Brett solo album simmers. It's a trip. Little by little it all comes together. I've got about 30 tunes in the can and every chance I get I'll add a little more paint and then subtract and add again and so on. I realize it's a maddening process but it's MY process and at the end of the day I'm usually very pleased with the results.

This morning, I was thinking about the album artwork. I think this picture is going to figure in somewhere.

And meanwhile...the NEW EVANGENITALS LP also cooks on the burner. We've got five songs tracked and they're our very best and most challenging. It's gonna make the first LP almost irrelevant.

2005-12-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

Growth. What a full four seasons it's been. The new year is here and everything is changing again. For the better I think. My God, how the Genitals have all grown up. Lisa moved to a new place, went back to skool, quit coffee, and made huge leaps in the area of jobs and finance. Jeff Jones has a sweet new honey, a new old car and has nearly doubled his hourly wage as a self employed jack of all trades. Juli made the big leap to Duarte with her boy. She is the last one at the sex shop and has climbed the ladder to become the new Marketing Director at JT's. For me it's been like this: A new house. Two funerals. CD releases. Wild encounters. Old jobs. Fresh skools. Band politik. Sweet reconciliations. New love.

The band is wiser. Less innocent. Deeper. Tougher. And so profound. I've been likening our transformation with The Beatles shift from fun loving mop tops to long haired adults seeking growth and maturity. Just too friggin cool.

So what's next for 2006? For starters you can expect a new record. A better record. The unrecorded classics we know and love. The shows will be bigger and smaller but somehow no less intimate. Count on a new level of musicianship. And for those who sensed a modest unraveling or perhaps a flicker in the flame, let it be known that we've grown though our second year baby threads with grace and are stronger for it.

2005-10-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

Hope I didn't sound too dogmatic on that last post. Just needed to bust out with some essential self-affirmaton. Can u dig it? Friday night and I'm staying in. Skool bright and early tommorrow. Hit the flash cards for a spell (big test Wednesday), cook up some ahi tuna, tweak the solo songs a little, maybe watch my new Netflix dvd "The Awful Truth" featuring the lefty hijinx of Michael Moore. Part of me gets a little blue on a lonely fall Friday but I know in my heart it's for the greater good. I wanna be well rested for class. Thinkin' long term. Taking the blinders off. Seeking the righteous balance between isolation and education. I feel like that kid who wants to go out and party but his parents order him to hit the books instead. Only I'm the parent.

2005-10-26T00:51:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, I asked my friend Dan Monick to play drums on a track I was working on. He loved the tune enough that he ended up raving about me and the song to a mutual hipster friend.

"Dark horse, eh?" the friend responded.

I'll never forget that. I knew what he meant and was deeply flattered but, at the time, I could never bring myself to fully own that tag.

George Harrison was a dark horse. He named his record label such. Hung out in the shadows for a long time keeping quiet and patient until one fine day in 1969...BOOM! his mojo jumped right off the friggin' charts. Turns out George was one of the coolest Beatles on the planet. He looked cool and he sure as hell sounded cool coming out of the woodwork with bonified Beatle classics like "Something" and "Here Comes the Sun".

When the Beatles split up, George released "All Things Must Pass", a TRIPLE album of backburner "Harrisongs" that John and Paul had deemed "not up to scratch". It was the biggest album of X-mas 1970 and went on to sell 6 million units, easily outpacing his former bandmates seasonal solo offerings.

I really love that story. I guess the dude's time had come. Fuckin' David and Goliath! Just think, he's got John and Paul, the two most influential songwriters of all time, telling him his shit's not good enough- that HE's not good enough. How intimidating is that? How many others would've crumbled and threw in the towel? And what does George do?

"Piss off Beatle Gods, I'm making a triple album with those orphans you don't want and it's gonna be the biggest and best solo album any of us will ever release!" And that's exactly what happened.

I'll tell ya, I'm really feeling that dark horse vibe lately. I wonder if this is the "tipping point"- where you work work work and then your cart comes to life and starts rolling all by itself. Today, all the hard work feels almost effortless. I'm not as afraid of people. I'm not afraid of going solo. I'm not afraid of school. Not afraid of being hurt. Not afraid of owning my strengths even if it threatens others. It's crazy. I'm not pulling, it's pulling me. Honestly, I feel like a celebrity whose mojo just keeps on rising.

See, I'm used to dialing it down for you. Gettin' small. People-pleasing bullcrap. Can't let her know how I feel. Gee, did I offend you? I'll never say nuthin' ever again. Oh? You don't like my songs? That's ok. I don't mind. I'll just tuck them away where nobody will ever find them and we'll all live happily ever after.

God, it's taken me a long time to fully absorb how this line of thinking will never, ever work. It's too much work for too little pay. I mean, knowing when to keep quiet and not make waves is high on the list but mistaking that for turning my sunshine down has been a real problem for me. Somebody out there told me a long time ago never to show my cards. If I do, I'm weak and I'm gonna get hurt like some scared kid at Spaceland with his arms folded, loving the band but too ashamed too let anyone see. Lies. And I don't wanna play ball like that anymore.

So here I go, America! Lettin' the chips fall where they may, pullin' all the stops tills the wheels fall off and singin' outta key till your earballs bleed! All you naysayers, all you haters, all you hip critic jagoffs, I'm not listenin'! Tell me I'm shit and I'll know I'm on The Path and I STILL got mad love for you! Only God can judge me. Ungh!

I AM THE DARK HORSE.

2005-10-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

"Don't overanalyze or ponder the deep meaning of each line. In the end, it can't look like acting." - Google results when searching the word "overanalyze"

I can get behind that. And yet I deeply understand that I also must not disregard the writings on the wall. The massive thunder. The pouring rain. Heatwaves. Erratic and erotic changes in weather and friendships. The burning bushes are everywhere if I choose to see them. Why did Sullivan's flip flops complete the circle during prayer? Why do I now stand while my bandmates continue to sit? Why did the housewarming plant she gave me suddenly die after we split? Who knows. But perhaps the question itself is as valuable as its answer.

2005-10-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

Have you heard Axl Rose has been holed up in his studio for the past 12 years working on a new Guns 'n' Roses record? No kidding. It's called "Chinese Democracy" and the guy is such a "perfectionist" he just can't seem to shit it out. Every year he makes this big announcement that it's almost done, it's on the way. Blah blah blah. I hear the album almost came out in 2001. He even embarked on a world tour supporting it's release with a bunch of new hired guns but the whole thing collapsed after numerous inexplicable Axl no-shows. Investors lost millions.

Just for the books, I'm not a GNR fan. When I was a kid I owned a copy of "Appetite" and that's about as far as it went. But I must confess, I am very curious to witness the spectacle that is and will be Axl's big return. With this guy, anything can happen for Axl is a member of that rarest of clubs: a truly insane, isolated millionaire superstar megalomaniac on par with the likes of Elvis, Howard Hughes and Norma Desmond. As with virtually all mega-celebrities, Axl has an extraordinary will to succeed. Couple that with ego driven rockstar self-loathing (braided extensions, new teeth) and you've got an excellent recipe for HIGH DRAMA!

And so I devilishly wait for the "new" Guns 'n' Roses album! Think about it. Good ol' Axl fires his original band and decides that he alone will fulfill the GNR legacy only to spend twelve years in solitude polishing the holy masterwork that will restore his heavy metal crown and usher him into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for all eternity! Does anyone else out there appreciate what a beautiful train wreck this might be?

And incidentally, what on Earth happens to a song when a millionaire fruitcake just keeps piling cheese on the same cracker for 12 friggin years?

2005-09-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Evangenitals perform at The Speakeasy in September "05.

Talented Swiss photographer Liliane Ortner captured this rare moment just as I was funneling the spirit of The Jones who was regretably absent due to a hand injury (Juli served as back-up shaman employing her rarely seen "viper" technique to fortify the bed of paranormal conductivity).

Super mellow bookworm hipsters everywhere and the first few songs were greeted with polite Silverlake applause. Still by night's end, we had succeeded at whipping 'em into a respectable frenzy and sold $100 worth of merch to boot!

John Albert read from his fine new book "Wrecking Crew" and charmed the crowd with his grace and wit.

Did I mention the awesome brownies and lemonade? Thanks for having us, Christine.

2005-08-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Cam-phone pic of Brett Lyda & Sean Sullivan @ Juli's Chuck E. Cheese Birthday Party 2005.

Sean's gift to Jules was an exact replica of his finger made from glue.

2005-07-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

I just gave two weeks notice at my job, I'm all moved in at my new place in South Pasadena & I'm going back to school on August 17th.

Hallelujah! I haven't felt this free since birth. The music is flowing and the spirits are howling positive ions into the summer night sky.

Juli's Chuck E. Cheese birthday party is on Monday August 1st. Then on Sunday, August 14th, I'm having my Homemade Chili Housewarming Party featuring a surprize pre-show performance by the Evangenitals followed by a nightcap of free live jazz (featuring sometimes Genital drummer Jeff Donavan) right around the corner at Buster's Ice Cream Parlor. Then on Wednesday The Evangenitals return to the stage for what is shaping up to be the BIGGEST show of their career so far. Many surprizes, new songs and special guests. Everyone is welcome.

Just knowing that I'm soon leaving the dregs of a 9-5 work schedule has inspired a batch of killer new recordings. Check out MySpace page for a 1 minute sample preview of my latest SUPER FUNKY track. And if you have the time, leave some feedback. I'd love to hear what you think - good or bad.

Click here for a one minute preview of Brettsky's Latest & Greatest New Funky Muzak Track!!!

2005-07-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Tommorow I sign the papers that will make me a homeowner and Saturday I move in. I had six big strong friends offer to help me move, God bless 'em, but when I dropped the bomb at the last minute, they all were leaving town or having baby classes save for stalwart friend Jeff Jones. For a moment I was scared. Was I going to be THAT guy? Mr. Loner moving guy? But then I realized I could afford to hire a few guys from Impact to help out. When you're holed up and penniless in rehab, it's a gift if anyone comes along and breaks you out for even a few hours and changes the routine. And if it pays that's supergravy. Believe me, I know. Thank you in advance, fellas!

2005-07-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

natasha romanovna selevanova

2005-06-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

Looks like I'll be playing the Iggy Fest on June 30th! Never before heard performances by Brettsky (featuring Pop Yggi) and probably never again. If you're into that whole John Cage thing, you outta come check it out. A lot of people are going to hate what I've done to Iggy.

9PM Sharp.

2005-06-07T15:48:00.000-07:00

Holy Smokes! I'm moving! I'm buying property! And I'm going back to skool! But fear not friends, I'm a still be a rockin! I spoke with Jules and it looks like Evangenitals Studios will be relocating to her spread in Duarte (the drums, etc won't fit in my new place). My fresh South Pasadena digs have hardwood floors, washer/dryer, fireplace, and parking! Currently, I live in Paradise. It's the most beautiful place and it's gonna be hard to leave.

As if that wasn't enough, I'm going to Avid school to update my mad film editing skillz. For those who don't know, I was once a hotshot award-winning filmmaker who kinda let things slide. But now I'm coming out of retirement (the Genitals need videos!!) It's gonna cost a helluva lot of $$ but I feel in my bones this IS the path! This is the price I pay for having such an amazing life!

Below is a map of the new place currently under construction:

2005-05-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

My dad has a Rush Limbaugh coffee mug that says "Pave the Rainforest" (sigh). Still, he's the most lovable Republican I know and sometimes I just have to get into acceptance about these sorts of right wing parental sitcoms or I'll go flat out crazy. He's got his W. and I've got my, um... Terminator. With the Red States flourishing and more than half of America in pro-Rummy mode, it seems unlikely Pop and I will ever find common ground in politics. Until now perhaps. I found something in Newsweek that every tree hugging Democrat should share with their Cheney-lovin bloodline. Juli & I are nuts about this fella and we feel he might just be the guy the who saves the day for everyone. Check it!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7773650/site/newsweek/

Now doesn't that just put a big smile across your sunshine state kisser?

2005-05-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow Genitalia.

Well, it's been another glorious and productive month. The Evangenitals album is finally out of the oven and ready for public consumption. I'm very proud of the results.

New Evangenitals CD

I wanna thank Juli and the band for letting me go to town on this record. Juli wrote most of the songs and yet I was given (or maybe I just took it) creative license to interpret the material as I pleased. She's perhaps the only person I know of whom I would trust to do the same for me.

Over these many months I've grown intimate with every nook of every note we've recorded. It was very rewarding to study the strengths and weaknesses of myself and the band during this process. Some tunes such as "Gasoline", "The Work Song" and "Cinderella" gave birth quickly while others like "QueeQueg", "Never Again" and "So Tired" were tirelessly shaped, revised and finessed for eons. Literally hundreds of hours were logged.

Newcomer Juli took to the studio environment quickly. I was amazed and truly inspired to watch how efficient, focused and courageous she grew throughout the sessions. Perhaps my most memorable experience was watching Juli transform from a good singer to a truly great singer in but a year's time. The same is true of her guitar skills. Listen to the opening chords of "Lisa's Song" and compare with the intro to "Work". You can actually "hear" her growth! For me, Juli's presence is a genuine testament to the human spirit and proof that anything is possible if you can remain fearless and teachable.

Mad props must be awarded to Lisa Dee for her unselfish ability to serve as Juli's loyal lieutenant. She will sometimes refer to herself as "Juli's understudy" and I understand what she means. Every time I listen to her sing "if we can't be lovers" in "Gasoline" I'm always quietly applauding her excellent ability to follow and not overtake.

But listen to Lisa's counter-melodies on "Quee" or "Work" and she's hardly subbing as an understudy. She's creating and composing her own distinctive lines and the results are brilliant. On the chorus tails for "Hey Ya'll" she ends with a dark fading note that tranforms the vibe from being almost fun and cute to downright haunting. Many of Lisa's decisions are so unconventional that I'll often ask myself "where on Mars did she come up with that?" So here's to you Ms. Lisa Dee!

Our beloved Jeff Jonesy. Mr. Space Bass. Always stressing about something. But when you get him in the studio, he's the guy who always nails his parts on the first take. Any sound engineer has gotta love that! As far as being fearless goes, JJ is giving Juli a run for her money! If you told me five years ago that he'd be playing country tunes and wearing a leather thong, I'd have told you to put your money where your mouth is! He's my superstar and that's why I insist that he personally autograph every single cd we sell.

Although he only makes a few appearances on the LP, David Salardino is indeed a bonified Genital. Aside from being the coolest guy on the planet, Dave is responsible for the KILLER drum part on "Work". That alone justifies his seat. We're looking forward to incorporating his mandolin skills into the next LP.

For this record, we brought in four heavy hitters. Thanks to Blair Lamb for letting us use his Del Boca Vista Studios for a few songs. Jeff Donavan plays a mean drum on "Gas", "Never" and "Lisa". Geoff Brandin plays the lovely lap steel guitar on "Quee". And my old friend Doug Legacy plays the ragtime piano on "Never".

Thank you Juli, Lisa, Jeff & Salad. And thank you Blair, Jeff, Geoff & Doug. Like it or not, we're all lifetime members of the Evangenital Family!

2005-04-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

Aye, I've been busting my buttle trying to get The Genital Album finished. Brett stuff is on hold until then (although I will be playing a solo set w/ The Evangenitals and probably Fascinoma @ Mudpuppy Coffeehouse on May 6th). The record really is almost ready. The art has been sent to the cd people. Very stoked.

Nearly a year ago, the band recorded three great tracks with Blair Lamb but were never quite satisfied with the finished mixes. We'd been trying to get the tapes for months and figured we'd just have to settle on what we had for the LP. So here I am months later, in post-production, preparing to put a raggety bow on the record when, to my horror and delight, Blair hands over the original tapes. Suddenly there were three more songs to finish.

Yesterday I mustered up the courage to ask an old friend to play piano on one of these tracks. His name is Doug Legacy and he's played with some serious heavyweights in the biz (Paul McCartney, Rod Stewart, Billy Joel, etc). He was gracious and invited me over to record the next day. So I just call him up and he tells me, "Hey man, I totally forgot that I have to tune U2's piano for the Arrowhead Pond show tonight. It's totally sold out! Can we do it later?" "Why, sure Doug".

Hehe! That just about killed me. This guy is such a player that a huge gig like that just "slipped" his mind! I consider myself extremely blessed to know him.

Thanks Doug!

2005-02-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Bejeezus it's a whirlwind February! Shows shows and more shows. The Genitals have a couple of new hit songs and more heartbreaking ballads than we can keep up with. Crockett has been sick for weeks yet she trudges on, hitting the stage and then leaving the party early to go and nurse her wounds. As soon as she gets up to speed, we plan to expand on our LP by adding the new crowd favorite "Work Song" and a big hotshot version of "Que Queg" that's been incubating for months! Juli and I agree that the record feels a little incomplete and I am eager to see these new additions round out the overall sound of the record.

I'm also very excited because I'm soooooo close to releasing a very nice EP of my own and ultimately follow it up with a full length offering. I've scheduled a day over at Signet Sound Studios with the young upstart Jeremy Underwood at the helm to record some drums and bass parts for a trio of songs I've been sitting on. Really good stuff. Soon I'll set up a MySpace outlet for public consumption. I'll tell ya, I've got a really good feeling about March...

2005-01-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

Can I send out a great big Hooray to Juli for being the original "Million Dollar Baby"? And while she's basking in the spotlight of Sports Illustrated, Access Hollywood & Extra (look for Evangenitals plugs everywhere), you'll probably find me hiding in the basement tooling away in my homespun studio, imperfecting tracks for our ever-expanding debut album as well as my own forthcoming record "Dark Pony".

At the moment, I'm sparring with the studio version of "Que Queg". Originally recorded in May at Blair Lamb's Del Boca Vista Studios in South Pasadena, the raw tapes were recently handed over to me and its been quite a task disassembling the mess we made. We're still so very green. But the track offers plenty of promise. I've already put down some more guitars and I'll have Juli come in for new vocals this week.

An exciting part of these sessions was the addition of Geoff Brandin on lap steel guitar. A real pro. I asked him to come in for the original recordings and he just knocked it out of the park. Folks are going to fucking flip when this version drops!

Also currently recording Juli's new TV theme song "Diggin It". I really enjoy this one. Playful and ridiculously catchy. Plus I get alot of "star time" with my Casio keyboard! A new sound for the band. We played it last night for our One Year Anniversary Show and the crowd went nuts for my big solo. Ha! Finally recognized as the genius I think I am!

Lastly, If ya haven't heard, I've taken on the task of being the band's resident cartoonist. Given all the hootin' and hollerin' we do on and off stage, it seemed like a no-brainer. Check out "EvangeniTales" every week right here or catch us on MySpace!

2005-01-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

First, let me thank everyone who came out for the Big Brett Solo Show at The Derby a few weeks back. I could really feel the love in the room and was quite surprised at the great turnout. Having my friends up there on stage with me was a dream come true. Now I'm growing a little more ambitious. I plan to book another gig for March but, while the last one may have slowed down your heart rate a little, this one is definitely going to ROK!!!

In addition to whatever the Genitals are doing, I'm also cobbling away on a record of my own. A while back, I had written a song tailored for the Evangenitals with a tentative title "Yoko". It was shelved. So I took it on back home and added drums and electric guitars and I must say this little fucker really rocks. Really, it's a hit song. The kind of song many will despise and others will absolutely adore. I bet it'll get plenty of radio and hopefully get snapped up for some movie. Mark my words, Amigo, Evangenital Brett is on the loose without a noose!

2004-12-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

Rehearsals for The Brett Lyda & Friends show at the Derby (Thurs Dec 30th) are going great guns. A huge movement for me. I've been riding shotgun for years cuz it's easier to get yer ya ya's out and let someone else take the heat onstage. But now I'm ready. Sort of. I've been asking for help. Taking new risks by asking friends to come on over and play my music and join me in what it is I do and see who I am. It's terrifying. The potential for rejection or disapproval lingers like a smelly ghost. But I've gotta take a fucking chance. I've gotta live my life and perhaps even be reckless about it. I will hold onto myself when the band doesn't get it or even flat out disagrees. I will muster up the enthusiasm and drive for my dream and others will follow even if they don't fully understand. Why? Because confidence is not only reassuring but intoxicating as well. I believe this. I'm not perfect. But I get it. Today, this is the divine goal. To go for it regardless of the consequences. Classic "carpe diem" shit. Just roll the dice and fuckin' go for it. And I'm gonna do my very best to wear a goddamn smile on my face when I do.

2004-12-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICE LIN! THE EVANGENITALS LOVE YOU!

2004-11-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

Buddy, I had the weirdest dream. I am seated between my bandmate Lisa and hippie folk rocker Ben Harper. Before us is this huge keyboard where the keys light up (like in that Tom Hanks movie "Big"). It starts playing an automated instrumental version of Strawberry Fields Forever and Lisa sings along. But she is horribly out of key and I keep elbowing her to knock it off and maybe save face with Ben. But Lisa is having none of my bullying ways! She just keeps on SING-SING-SINGING! Just when I'm about to blow my top, Ben looks right into her eyes and starts crooning right along with her - a duet for chrissakes! And then without a hitch, he brushes me aside, reaches over, and plants the sloppiest five second french kiss right on Lisa lips! Good golly, Miss Molly!

2004-11-11T09:09:00.000-08:00

It's ok. I have faith that this is all part of the Grand Plan. I know there are forces at work that are greater than borders or politicians. Today marks the day The Evangenitals try and help with the "Loving, Healing, Primal Screaming" therapy show at The Derby. Where we return to the basics. Where love reigns supreme regardless of ideaology, political leanings or sexual orientation. Folks, we're working overtime on this one. I've been in my little home studio for the past few weeks polishing up our first LP which will make its debut this evening. The gals have been hustling to flyer and complete the artwork for the cds and our new "unicron" T-shirts. Whew.

The studio. I love it but anyone who's familiar will tell you its exhausting as hell. Tweaking knobs and staring at screens with virtually no human contact for what seems a lifetime can potentially fry the soul. Like Chinese water torture perhaps. Funny how so much time, effort and focus is ultimately squashed into a simple little three minute pop song. God sometimes it seems so small and insignificant, in my weaker moments I wonder what's the point? But then I remember. It is not my business to fret over the outcome.

The simple truth is music (or any gesture) is a gift. An offering to the universe for our brothers and sisters to do with as they wish. This will be three minutes that can travel anywhere on this planet and be shared with anyone over and over again throughout a lifetime. If you think about it, that's a lot of minutes. And quite a gift.

2004-10-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday. The day after my 35th birthday and our "Greatest Hits" Derby show. The phone isn't ringing. I have nothing to do and so I've painted my entire room an ocean blue. I am alone. It is raining. A far cry from the beautiful busy-ness that was Friday where I was the recipient of so much love and attention that it was nearly unbearable - birthday cakes, presents, LOTS of phone calls, the big gig, Fascinoma's surprise appearance on the rug, a roomful of friends old & new, handfuls of past and present crushes. It felt so much like a goddamn Fellini picture that I just had to up & sing! Thank you everyone for a wonderful evening! Lorca, it was really special to see you after so many years. Simon, great to have you back in my life. You're a stalwart friend. Salad, having you behind the kit couldn't have been a nicer birthday gift. Michael Anderson, you've got a heart of gold, brother - thanks for the pastry! Lovely Marina, thank you for the excellent photos (I've already found a perfect place for them). Finally, a special thanks to the Evangenitals for putting up with this old fool for as long as you have. I love you all!

2004-10-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

The Evangentials: A&E Total Request Live @ The Derby falls on October 15th. That's the day I was born. People must like to screw a lot more in February 'cause virtually everyone I know has a birthday this month. For me, this is the month that can break the bank both spiritually and financially if not careful. A present here, A card there, candles everywhere. And let's not forget. Rent. Car. Food. Women. Summer ends and the melancholy begins. The clocks change. The weather shifts. The prayers commence and the broken vows are renewed. The phillies are beautiful and they all have invisible boyfriends. The men are in sheep's clothing, seeking the elusive balance between mama's boy and marlboro man. The game is real. The game is insane. And at the end of the day the Genitals remain.

2004-10-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Alanna Lin! Remember, one chocolate almond per day for the rest of your life for a long and prosperous life.

2004-09-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

The morning after. The beard is growing. Four hours sleep. Feeling golden. Why? Because the Derby shindig was so damn beautiful. An ocean of new fans & friends. The comeuppance of John Maus, testifying on one knee as nearly two dozen new disciples gathered before Him, arms outstretched, fingertips tingling for a touch. In a heartbeat, it could have been a scene from a Michaelangelo painting. But it really happened. There are no pictures. But legend will prevail. The lovely paradox that is Hidden- surely one of the gentlest tribes in Los Angeles. Yet onstage, they are the fiercest of sexybeasts, the black widow of all bands. I've never seen it happen, but one gets the feeling that if you ever did find a way to cross them, they would quickly turn you into blood pudding. The divine grace of Fascinoma. The duo are now a trio. The new member Mike, carefully chosen so as not to inject too much testosterone into the band's fragile eco-system. They are the voices of an informed, kind, and forgiving angel. Entirely fallible. Wholly beautiful. You are the friends of The Evangenitals. We love you too much. Thank you all for a perfect evening. Thank you MC Allen Murdock for being the glue. And a great big thank you to Michael Anderson and Tony Gower for making this event possible!

2004-09-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

Derby show is tonite. The buzz is back. The head cold is near extinction. The new songs are itching for their debut. Strangers, old friends and new, approaching me in public places. "You're playing on Wednesday, right?" Wow. My personal Google stats are expanding. It's one method by which I measure growth. Life is good and still no g-love in sight. Not to worry. Juli just put on an Elliot Smith record. It's been almost a year since he checked out and I still miss him. One of his very last shows was at the Derby. I'll remember that while I'm up there.

2004-09-02T08:47:00.000-07:00
The busiest month for the Evangenitals yet! Spent last weekend in the studio with veteran producer Blair Lamb and captured four songs on three reels of 2 inch tape. For me "Gasoline" was the undisputed highlight with "Never Again" running a close second. We'll be posting these in a short while once post production is completed. On the second day of recording (Saturday) we also performed for Alan Murdock's birthday party. A great set and a great crowd, we closed that performance with the appropriately themed "Home" in which the entire building sang along. Back in the studio on Sunday where I stayed late working on the rhythm tracks for "Que Queg". Monday we grabbed our shit and plunked it on the El Cid stage for the big show in Silverlake.

In my mind, the Return of El Cid was an important lesson for the band. The music was beautiful and the draw was noteworthy but behind the scenes, there was some fear and perhaps a lack of faith and gratitude from a few heavies which threatened to cast a dark cloud over the evening. By the time we hit the stage, I could feel the humidity in the crowd, who seemed a little less receptive than usual. Ugh. The fear was understated yet contageous, the spiritual stakes were high, and we absolutely needed to dig deep if we were going to rise up, turn the room, and spread some love before the whole damn barrel went bad. We opened the set with our new super-slow countrified version of OutKast's "Hey Ya". My guitar was falling out of tune but I managed to dance around the problem, smile, and not panic. The tune was a perfect opener that captured the room's attention and laid the groundwork for the change of vibe we were petitioning for. To me, that song was the first administering of the antidote. So sweet, playful and innocent- it was our way of saying to the crowd and to ourselves,"Hey, we know the vibe in here is a little dim but you can rest easy now. You're among friends and everthing is OK. Have a good time!" Next up was "Never Again" with pro drummer Jeff Donovan on the skins. Another rocky start. I looked over at Juli. I could see she too was rattled but angrily defiant- like only an undefeated champion boxer can be, I suppose. I swear she had a look in her eye that said "I'm not going to let you friggin' haters win, whoever you are!" This gave me added strength and by the end of the tune we had a fair shake of momentum going. Still, our bid for One Love was strong but not yet unanimous. The middle of the set revisited the quiet "truckstop fairytale thing" we do so well. My favorite mechanic, Fabian, told me some woman started crying right next to him during the new ballad "Lisa's Song". Apparently, we were getting through after all. I should mention that our new bubble machine prop was introduced for the epic sea tale "Que Queg". With Donovan returning to the kit, we ran through another new tune "Fuck 'Em All". But it was the one-two punch of "Gasoline" and the closer, a ROCKING reprisal of "Hey Ya" that nailed the coffin shut on any surviving naysayers. Lisa and Juli went into an hysterical freestyle bit where they said their goodbyes and dirty danced off the stage, leaving the rhythym section to close out the evening with a big KaBoom! The crowd went nuts and the closing arguments had been made: One Love, Dammit! It was a scene right out from either Heaven or Las Vegas! Total kitsch! Divine, flawed and fucking brilliant!

2004-08-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

I went to Amoeba Music last Saturday and saw 60's folk icon Rithie Havens perform and asked him to autograph my nylon string guitar. At sixty plus years, I tell you the man still had VIBE. Afterward he invited us to a BBQ in up Brentwood. Sounded pretty swank but we had to pass. A friend once said "dude, when you go to Amoeba yer gonna lose!" Sure enough I lost $40. The new Ritchie album, George Harrison's killer second record and Rod Stewart's "Never a Dull Moment". Holy shit! I had no clue just how fucking cool early 70's Rod was. It was a great afternoon but I think the highlight for me was meeting this sweet old crackhead named Champagne from Cincinatti. As we passed him on the street, he kindly asked if he could play my guitar for a minute. We had some time to kill and figured what the hell. Well I'll be damned if he wasn't the angel of Harlem! Right before our ears, this little old black man starts bustin' out with these super-funky soul originals reminiscent of the Isley Brothers' "Who's That Lady". It made you wanna shimmy and shake like it was nobody's bizness.

2004-07-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

My friend Eric Layer had an open mike birthday party on Saturday. Honestly, I was pretty beat and was debating whether to attend. I sure am glad I did. T'was a lovely vibe with some stellar music that night. It forced me to once again reinterpret the finer points of Eric Layer, for it takes a special gift to attract such a wonderful group of people all in one place. A nice bonus- I finally got to see Azalia Snail perform, a band I've heard about for years. That was pretty special. I think I'd like to do a show with those folks. Good band, good people.

Alanna from Linister and Kim from Eagle & Talon suggested the three of us get up and improvise. Well, we must've really been onto something because soon the fever spread and we were joined by no less than four others including bass, drums, Eric on keys, and my new friend Brian on the horn(!). Our virgin band really was quite good but it was Alanna and Kim who really turned it into something special and unique. Wow. Supersexy. Smart. Spontaneous. Their melody, presence and fearlessness were undeniable.

Afterward the girls mentioned they felt a little bit out of their element (it got rather funky) but for me that's what made it really interesting- watching these two perfect indie chicks being asked to shed that particular skin and draw from their untapped Marvin Gaye-ness was quite a thrill. It felt dangerous and very sexy. Needless to say, they had everyone's attention. As for me, it just felt so good to be vibrating on a level with so much raw talent. I was pleased to discover how absolutely comfortable I felt in that moment. I went home that night feeling pretty good. Thanks for a great time, Eric!

2004-07-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy month for the Genitals.

The July 5th El Cid show was wildly successful. It was such a a phenomenal lineup. Linister, Las Panches, Zoe Moss, Eric Layer, Addi the balloon guy. Special thanks to Jeff on skins and Michael Anderson for making it all happen. Did I mention I absolutely adore Linister? They asked me to come up and do a song with them and that was a dream come true. I hope they ask again.

Some days later we played The Brewery benefit for Ian Ungsten. By most accounts, this show should have been a disaster. The room was easily over 100 degrees and had absolutely no air conditioning. The band went on late. There was no sound system. Juli, Lisa and their guitars were forced to share a single microphone plugged into a guitar amplifier. The lighting was cold and factory flourescent. No chairs. It was ramshackle. It was beautiful. It was necessary. Thankfully, we hadn't forgotten why we were there. We made due with what little we had and, against the odds, blew the roof off that joint. The crowd stayed for the entire performance. Some felt it was our best show ever. Best of all, the benefit raised a good chunk of change for Ian. Someday I'd like to meet that fella.

2004-07-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Before you're imagination goes totally berserk, let me just say that she's barely 18. My neighbor is a hotshot fetish photographer and he wanted to use my bathroom for a recent photo shoot. Still, it is MY bathroom and if I hadn't gone and told you the truth, you would've swallowed just about any crackpot fairytale I could conjure up. What with me being the lead guitar for the coolest band in L.A. anything's possible, right? That said, please feel free to use this photo to further any lies or mistruths about me that you're heart so desires. It's good to be an Evangenital.

2004-07-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

Yes it has been a while hasn't it? But i'm still here and as you probably know, Juli is back from overseas. The band is gearing up for the big 5th of July celebration at El Cid. Once again, the stars have alligned for this one. The bill is impressive. We even have the divine talents of Chris Goodson serving as master of ceremonies! It's such a thrill to watch the Genitals grow at the epicenter of these El Cid shows. Thankfully, the entire band understands that we're just a small part of why these gigs are so successful. I think the gift lies in our ability to transmit the idea that absolutely everyone (over 18) is welcome. The Legion of Genitalia will never be an exclusive club because the only requirement for membership is your divine soul and what ya got down there! Excessive tattoos and nose hair? You're in. Struggling with your coke and hooker problem? In. Masturbating playstation dork? In. Aging fetish queen? Definitely in.

2004-06-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

I look forward to Sunday rehearsals at our Highland Park colonial island retreat. For me, this time spent with the band is a little bit like church. Our weekly connection. We'll grill up a little seasoned Mahi Mahi with rice & beans and sit round the table eating salad and passing the Orangina. We have warmly dubbed this tradition of ours the "Fellini Supper". Fellini, the late great filmmaker would have his entire cast and crew dine at the same table- a lovely gesture which no doubt fostered deep comraderie and affection.

Soon our bellies are full. Perhaps a little coffee with cream will follow. The sun is setting. Juli and Lisa are on the blue couch warming up their strings while the boys have moved to the balcony for a cigarette. The palm trees are breathtaking. Now everyone is settled, we'll commence with a few new tunes and maybe shiny up an old standard or two. Rarely do we fail to capture some kind of magic. What's the secret? Dunno. Perhaps there's a little pixie dust buried in those antique blonde hardwood floors.

Recently we captured another rehearsal and, upon playback, I found myself in hysterics and much gratitude. The chatter and dialogue between takes are as hilarious and moving as the songs themselves and remind me once again of how much I love my pardners in crime (when Juli returns from Switzerland I'll have her post some choice moments).

At 9PM rehearsal ceases for another episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. We are huge fans of Detective Gorin and the evening is never entirely complete without him. In twelve short hours we will return to the grind of our regular jobs. This is our nightcap. Tomorrow be damned.

2004-05-27T17:29:00.000-07:00
I just received our first batch of free business cards from VistaPrint.com. They had these awful designs to choose from but I think we succeeded in weeding out the worst:

There are some great new tunes on the burner. It looks like Juli and I are going to bust out with a duet pretty soon. Also forthcoming is a cool idea she's been fooling with, replete with an absurd Sergio Leone spaghetti-western middle section that just just kills everytime. Another gem in the pipe is "Mahi Mahi"- our homage to great food. It has been enthusiastically crowned by Jeff and Juli as our first true anthem. Can't wait for Lisa to hear this one. She's gonna be perfect for it.

2004-05-19T17:01:00.000-07:00
The El Cid show was triumphant! The shows just keep getting bigger and better. The Jeff Jones Experience played his first show ever and really set the tone for the evening. So great to have 'im on board. Then the Genitals faded onto the stage. Our set was decidedly a greatest hits package. And for good reason as El Cid is a historical venue and deserves no less than our very best. Still there were some who felt our Cure cover song was anti-climactic. They're probably right but we've just been having so much fun with that one we couldn't resist.

2004-05-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

Well, the El Cid show is right around the corner and if my spidey-sense is on target, this should be the biggest and brightest hootenany lovefest yet! We're as pleased as punch to have many, many friends on board for this one. Ukefink is back along with our good pals Substitute Universe, Master/Slave & The Jeff Jones Experience. Perhaps the most exciting addition will be the expanded line-up of the Evangenitals. That's right, our little family is growing growing growing! Sometimes I feel like I'm in the early Beatles back when they were all best buddies. The comraderie in this outfit is unprecedented for me. Often we'll mosey over to some show all packed in one little car like a pack of school kids headin' to the keg party! Oh, the love.